Today Cade and I spent sometime at Rob's celebrating his birthday. Rob's mom is here from California so we got to spend a little bit of time with her too. The bond between Rob and Cade is something very special, and I am blessed that he is a part of her life. Watching them together is fun to watch because the act silly, and understand each other on a completely different level then anyone could understand either one of them. Though Rob and I are not good together I am grateful that we can still be friends and have a good time together. He plays and important role in Cade's and my life, and he is one of the few that I know will always be there for me and her.
So Cade and I just got home, it was a long day. Work, School, and then she had a concert...pics to come later. She is tired, I am tired, we are going to bed.
Word has been circulating around my job that we were going to have to start paying for some or all of our health benefits. FREAK OUT!!!! The quotes that they were originally showing us were crazy, and there was NO way I was going to be able to afford it. Well, yesterday they announced that they will still be providing us insurance with 100% paid by them. WHAT A BLESSING!!!! I must say that my employers do try there best to keep us happy, and I am very thankful to them for keeping our insurance!!!!
I am hoping to start Christmas decorating, and some fun lil' crafts with Cade this weekend, but we will see how far we actually get with that!
So this blog tonight is a lil' on the might be too truthful side, as well as the TMI side, with a lil' of the sad side. I just want all to know that I am OK....actually better than OK. I made a huge mistake, learned a big lesson, and will bounce back like a super bouncy ball!!! This is just the plain truth and raw feelings of how I felt when I wrote this earlier tonight, and thought I would share it with you all. The drama is finally over, I finally have had enough, and I finally came to my damn senses to realize he won't ever change, never intended to change, and played me like a piano. Over the weekend I finally stood up for myself, and I really think he hasn't ever really had a girl do that before...but I am better than that for sure, that is definitely not the life I am looking to live.
So I am letting go today. Letting go of the hope of us together forever, and the hope that I had that you would change your ways. In the last six months all you have proven to me is that you are a liar, and a cheat, and I should of ran away from the beginning. I beat myself up daily that I allowed you into my life in such a personal way, and that I let you into my daughter's life at all. You have broke me, if that was your goal you beyond accomplished it, and someday you will realize that you can't continue running around, talking smooth with your mouth, praying on single mother's promising them love, and a better life than they already have. You have made me realize that my life is fantastic, and all it has been with you in it chaotic, so I am glad that my life can go back to being GREAT, and I can get back to my old self again. I hope that you realize that as you continue your journey, and quest to see exactly how many girls you can have at one time, that you truly are destroying life's, making life more difficult for those that are already struggling. I also hope that through your experience with me that you learned there are ladies out there that will stand up for themselves, and not take your crap, you know ladies that respect themselves enough to know that you are toxic, and that they don't need you in there lives. I am very glad that I finally stood up for myself, and my only regret really is that I didn't do it along time ago. I thought you and I were so meant to be together, after crushing on you in High School for two years, and then reconnecting with you 10 years later I really thought it was fate, I really thought it might be my turn to get my prince charming, but I opened myself up to quickly to you, and got burnt. You never had good intentions, you only wanted one thing, never wanted the things you said, and never intended to keep any of your promises. You know the things I have been through, abuse, alcoholism, and I told you from the beginning it is hard for me to let people in, but this, what you did is more heart breaking than taking a beating, or having an alcoholic say horrible things to me. What you did is evil, flat out, evil, pure evil. I hope you get help because you have a problem, you lie so much that you can't tell the difference between the truth and a lie. I wish you well in your life, and hope that someday you find what it is you are seeking that will fulfill your need to destroy others life's. My daughter deserves better and so do I, and you don't deserve us at all! YOU ARE A PREDATOR AND YOU SHOULD HAVE A WARNING LABEL!!!!
Other than that my car is running like crap, work is busy, and life is wonderful!!!
Nothing really that exciting to report. Work, laundry, dishes, house cleaning, some T.V. watching...and that is about it. Cade spent a few days with Rob, he built her a swing in his back yard so she likes to be over there so she can swing away. It is cold and raining, tis' the season I guess. Cade has a concert next week, I love them so I am excited to go see it. Other than that not too much is going on here, and I think I like it that way!
