To sum it up..

I found this song today, and have listened to if over and over again. Right now in life this is pretty much exactly how I feel. Cade and I will be enjoying dinner tonight at our friends house, and I am hoping I will get some insight into why I am feeling like this.

Futile Road by Jamestown Story

Lyrics to Futile Road :Hold me down, I need a prescription heart can't feel this empty anymore Choke them down, and hope for a reaction, or live another day at war Days spent dazed, a classic case Of misconcepted ways This has always been my life, will always be a place where I spend too much time on hold The things I've done and said each day, keep haunting every move I make So I'll keep walking, searching for control, down this futile road Hold me down, my recklessness has damaged, my body beyond all repair I'm not down, and out yet, I'm just out and down The search for understanding isn't fair Days spent dazed, an all too common case Of misconcepted ways And after all this time nothings changed I've lasted all this time and nothings changed